Some of you know the little treatise on prayer known as The Cloud of Unknowing, written by an anonymous English mystic in the fourteenth century. Its author wrote another work called The Epistle of Prayer. It is, in fact, a letter written to someone who had asked a question about prayer. . . .
“My friend in God,” the author writes, “you have asked me how to control your mind when you are saying your prayers, and I will do my best to answer.” Now this is a question that very many people ask. . . . There are various kinds of advice that can be given to someone who wants help to overcome wandering of the mind. . . . Some people are helped by fixing their imagination on some picture, perhaps a scene from the Gospels. Others may pray with their eyes on a crucifix or on the Tabernacle. Some help themselves with tranquilizing techniques like deep breathing or certain quiet exercises. The advice given by the author of The Epistle of Prayer is very different. . . .
“I think what is going to help you most,” he says, “when you start your prayer—and it does not matter whether it is long or short—is to make sure that you are certain that you will die by the time it is ended, that you will finish before your prayer does!” He is not, of course, wanting his correspondent to think he really will certainly die then, but he does want him to get the exact feeling he would have if it were so. . . .
There are various benefits to be gained by facing each duty we have, and not only our prayer, as if what we are doing is the last thing we shall ever do on earth. We should try to do each thing we do just as if we were sure of going to God at the end of it, or even before the end of it. . . .
The ability to see everything in the light of proximate death is a great help in doing what God wants us to do, because we should certainly want to please Him as much as we could with our last few minutes, and it also helps us to do what we do with a pure intention, to do it to please God and not for our future earthly benefit. In the light of the coming end of our life, we should be greatly helped to refrain from some things which do not please God or are a waste of time. We should be very anxious to choose what made us acceptable to God and to avoid what might displease Him in any way. . . .
Although we may hope that we are in the state of grace and are at peace with God, nevertheless, if we succeed in really feeling that we are shortly to face God openly, not sheltered from His bright light by the veil of faith, we shall become very much aware of our wretchedness. . . .
A sense of unworthiness and unfitness before God is very important for us. We are all sinners. Anyone who feels he can stand up confident in his own conduct through life and in his present state of soul before God has no idea of the holiness and majesty and purity of God. Profound humility is the only true attitude for us before God as His creatures, and even more as sinners before Him. . . .
But however wretched we find ourselves to be when we manage to feel as if we were about to face God openly, if we find that we can turn to Him sincerely in prayer, we know for certain that He comes right out to meet and welcome us. We remember the parable of the Prodigal Son.
If we can only combine a really sincere acceptance of our unworthiness with an absolute confidence in God’s love embracing us in that state, we find that a delightful, joyful, and peaceful love springs up in our heart. In this life we need both fear and confidence. It is the virtue of hope that links them together: fear of God as we look at ourselves in His light, but excited confidence as we look at God in His light. . . . The combination of reverential fear with loving confidence is God makes His presence very, very personal and very, very loving.
So you see, in one sense our wretchedness helps us to find God, so we need not try to forget it when we come to prayer. And the thought of approaching death can help us into God’s presence, so we need not keep that out of mind. “For those who love God, all things cooperate unto good.” For those who love God, everything is a grace.
