There are many excuses or reasons that most of us give for not praying enough or not enjoying prayer. A very common one is the fact that we have not got the time. What did Jesus do when He had not got the time to pray? What He did was to get up before dawn and pray extremely early in the morning. That might be a solution for busy people, at least from time to time, but we shall not do that unless we regard prayer as more important than sleep. There were many occasions when Jesus spent the whole night in prayer. I wonder how many of us have ever done that. At any rate, I doubt if we can regularly excuse ourselves from prayer on the pretext that we simply cannot find time. It may happen sometimes that we really do not have a moment to spare from morning to night, nor can we cut down on sleep without harming our health or efficiency, but that excuse will not be convincing if we do find time for newspapers, television, gossip, or other less important things.
Another reason why some people do not pray enough or enjoy prayer is that . . .
they cannot pray well and find their own prayer unsatisfactory. Prayer for many people who go beyond the mere minimum of saying a few prayers of petition from time to time is a problem. It is for them something very difficult. It is a rather easy step from thinking that your own private prayer is not satisfactory in your eyes to being convinced that is us unsatisfactory in God’s eyes too and to conclude that although prayer is of supreme importance, your own prayers are almost worthless. This is a very false form of reasoning.
When you decide to give some time to prayer . . . what do you think God is most interested in? What is most important to Him? Do you think He wonders if you are going to pray well or not? Do you think that God loves prayer and is upset if it is poor prayer? Do you think God regards prayer as a thing that can be judged good or bad? God is not interested in prayer; He is interested in you. And you should not be interested in prayer; you should be interested in God. . . Prayer is you with God and God with you. It is not a thing separate from God and separate from you. If you want to be with God and He, as is certain, wants to be with you, then your prayer is very good and very important no matter how bad it seems to you when you look at it as if it were something separate from you and separate from God that somehow brings you both together. Prayer is getting on well with our Heavenly Father, or with Jesus Christ, or with Our Lady or the Saints. Prayer is not a matter of technique, or of concentration, or of skill, or of brilliance of thought or even intensity of effort. These factors may help or hinder prayer, but prayer, as such, is God with you and you with God and both wanting it. . .
Another reason why some people judge their own private prayer to be unimportant and unsatisfactory is that they have many distractions. Prayer is spoilt by distractions if they are voluntary, in other words if you prefer the distractions to God when you become aware of them. But if you turn back to God whenever you realize you are distracted, then your prayer is probably actually made more valuable and more fruitful by distractions, because you do not want them, and you choose God over and over again when you realize you have wandered off; so distractions do not make your prayer unimportant or not worthwhile at all, unless you cultivate or cause them through your own deliberate fault.
I think, however, that there is another reason why many of us find it difficult to believe that our own personal private prayer is extremely important and more worthwhile than any other private activity or interest we engage in. It is very difficult to believe that something we do is very important and significant and effective if we consider ourselves to be unimportant and insignificant and ineffective. Humility is a very precious virtue and one without which you cannot love God or your neighbor or pray or do anything really good, but humility has nothing whatever to do with feeling that you do not matter or that your activity is insignificant. Charity begins at home, and you cannot love God or love your neighbor as yourself if you do not love yourself. I am not talking about selfish self-love, of course, but a sense of personal worth and dignity is essential if we are to be truly human and truly Christian. We have to give ourselves due honor, due self respect. The basis of this self acceptance and self respect is not anything we have done or anything that makes us feel superior to others; it is a gift of God that makes us worthwhile, each of us. You simply must not regard cheaply anyone whom God values enough to die for, even if that person is you! If you matter to God so much, you must surely also matter to yourself. . .
Do not listen to the devil when he tries to make you say, “I am no good at prayer.” If you can be yourself and want to be with God, you are good at prayer. You can get on well with your Heavenly Father. Do not listen to the devil if he says, “Look at your prayer, how poor it is; look at how distracted it is; look how weak you are; look how little you know about prayer.” Be with God, knowing you are so important in His sight that He has given your supernatural grace, given you a share in the life and prayer of Jesus. If you cannot help seeing that your prayer is not what you would wish, then immerse yourself in Jesus’ prayer; ask Him to prayer for you in your place, as well as in you. Stop looking at yourself and your prayer and look at God with the self confidence, the self respect, the self appreciation that comes from faith in God and His absolutely free choice of you as His beloved son or daughter.
