Jesus did not suffer to free us from temporal suffering in this world, although He often does desire healing of our pains where they hinder our growth in virtue and where they do not further redemption for us. But in general Jesus suffered so that our sins should be forgiven and so that our own sufferings should contribute to the application of His forgiving sufferings for sinners. He did not come to take away our troubles but to make them His as we live through them with Him. What is more, although He overcame satan by a crushing, complete, and everlasting defeat on the Cross, He did not wish to take away the power of satan to tempt Christians, even when they are saints. We have to be conformed to the death of Christ in order to be conformed to His risen life, and we have to share in some degree in His temptations if we are to share in some degree in His victory. . .
So by God’s will our life is a battle, and a battle involves danger and a certain fear and a certain sense of insecurity. I do not know how great saints feel, but for the average Christian, to feel no danger and to have no holy fear and sense of insecurity in himself is a bad sign. St. Paul tells us to work out our salvation in fear and trembling. . .
What we have to do is to be continually turning back to God, continually renewing our determination to be faithful to Him. We do this in a very forceful and effective way whenever we sincerely go to confession and whenever we take part properly in the Eucharist. “Repent and believe the Gospel” is not just a message at the beginning of a Christian’s life, but has an ever growing insistence as we become closer to God. We have never completely repented and never completely believed all the secret or perhaps even obvious contents of the depths of the Gospel.
So no matter how faithful or prayerful or peaceful in God we may be, conversion is something that must concern us every day. There is always something to turn away from and always God to turn still more towards. If we have conquered all definite sins, which is extremely unlikely, we still have to turn away from self-love and a selfish way of wanting God. What an awful thing it is to seek God for one’s own sake, as if God were some kind of comfort at our disposal. We have got to want God for His sake, and then He will give Himself to us for ours. We have to join in the sacrifice of Jesus before we receive the life of God it brings. . .
The difficulty we have in feeling safe is that we can never trust ourselves. But we must always trust God and, as long as we live, He is always there to forgive and put us right. Always! . . . So anyone of us should have complete peace of soul and sense of security in God, while at the same time distrusting ourselves and praying for the grace to persevere and making use of all the means of sanctification available to us in our particular circumstances in life.
